In today’s day and age protecting a person’s feelings appears to be more important than allowing them to hear your true thoughts and feelings. As a result of this people become complacent about themselves and their behaviours, accepting who they are while rarely challenging themselves. We’ve become a society plagued by “yes” people, people pleasers and, doormats all that are too afraid to say a word out of line just in case someone doesn’t like us or becomes mad at us.
We’ve become soft as a whole and have engaged a filter so firmly on our mouths that most of the time people claim they no longer even have thoughts going against the grain of someone else. We have our heads stuck so deep in the sand because of this that we all have this false assumption that we’re succeeding and doing fantastic at life, for why wouldn’t we think that? It’s not like anyone ever challenges that standpoint.
What does friendship and respect mean to most people?
It appears to mean lying, agreeing, accepting, ignoring and holding back apparently. To me that’s not friendship, that’s some act and falsehood where we pretend to be, feel and think in a way that isn’t true to who we are and certainly isn’t true to others. Respect for me involves honesty, and giving me the chance to make better decisions and challenge myself by having an outside perspective on myself be known, for when you’re in your life it’s very hard to see where you are going right and wrong.
One of the biggest crocks that people prescribe to is to “respect” each others parenting choices, apparently that means never speaking against what someone does with their kids and shutting up. This is one massive misconception of the word respect I have ever seen in action, respect to me means challenging someone when you don’t feel you agree and can see a better way, giving someone the chance to hear you out and listen. Because quite frankly if I were to find out if anyone I knew was physically abusing their child, practicing cry it out or partaking in verbal abuse toward their kids there is nothing that would stop me from confronting them and challenging them on their behaviours.
As a person who is known for being honest, harsh, brutal, and having no filter I believe that we are going about our interpersonal relationships all wrong. I challenge people regularly, I don’t hold back and I let it all out no matter who I’m dealing with. I find I get mixed responses, people get quiet with me, mad, furious, sad, hurt and all sorts of other emotions, but after every time I’ve challenged someone on something harshly much to my surprise I’ve been thanked! Yes, you read it right people THANK me for being so brutally honest and challenging! Apparently I’m a breath of fresh air, something people have needed in their lives for years.
Speak your own truths
There are good and bad ways to become challenging and confronting, like with anything, quite often confronting and challenging someone gets confused with controlling and telling someone what or how to do something. Pointing out discrepancies in what someone is saying compared to what they’re doing is a good start, as well as challenging people on why they do certain things and perhaps where that comes from.
We need to stop telling people what we believe they want to hear and start telling them what they need to hear! For isn't personal growth and the ability to change for the better what we strive for?